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The Killards Are Coming

Every damn day in Religion Class, Sister Anna Banana yapped about the Soviets revving up to start a nuclear war with the new president, Ronald Reagan. She said after the cities burned to Holy Hell, there’d be something called “nuclear winter” that would kill all... 

Double-Strength Demon Dogs

Fantastic Freddie was the only altar boy from the Red Brick Alley. He was always consecrating Ritz Crackers and trying to make us eat them like communion wafers. He light-fingered incense from the sacristy, and he blessed water from Old Lady Tully’s spigot...

Laser Loop

I couldn’t see over the tall green school bus seat except when we hit a pothole and I bounced up in the air like a Pop-Tart jumping out of a toaster. Nobody at Saint Augie’s could believe I was allowed to go. My first school picnic ever. I was good from the day I handed in my pink...

The Boy Wonder

How the Hell did Jaggerbush get himself up there? He was clawing his way up into the open window above the Science class door like a real-life gargoyle. The blockhead of a wooden mallet stuck out of the back of his Toughskins where his butt crack was. He wore three...

About The Author


Robert Roman grew up in Pittsburgh, PA, where he sold newspapers to cars from a concrete island. Read more→

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“Some people believe, he said, that we go on living in another body after death, that we lived before. They call it reincarnation. That we all lived before on the earth thousands of years ago or some other planet. They say we have forgotten it. Some say they remember their past lives.”

- Ulysses, James Joyce

Today’s Terrible Tercet:

Does Narcissus see himself in the snotgreen sea?

Welcome to the Age of Solipsistic Selfie.

Buck Mulligan’s Reincarnation? Me! Me! Me!

Stay tuned for more revivification.

Same resurrection time, same rebirth channel.

* Previous Metempsychosis

Updated: 5 days ago

—Met him what? he asked.

—Here, she said. What does that mean?

He leaned downward and read near her polished thumbnail.


—Yes. Who’s he when he’s at home?

—Metempsychosis, he said, frowning. It’s Greek: from the Greek. That means the transmigration of souls.

—O, rocks! she said. Tell us in plain words.

(Ulysses, James Joyce)

At the Gentlemens Bathing Place in Sandycove

A reincarnation of Mulligan at the Footy Foot?

Frozen, frigid little wiener - Kaput!

Stay tuned for more ice-cold emasculation.

Same shriveled time, same shrunken channel.

* More Metempsychosis

“Gerty had an idea, one of love’s little ruses.”

- Ulysses, James Joyce

A truly Homerotic Ezraku starring our favorite flasher: The Siren of Sandymount. The Princess of Peep. The Cinderella of Softcore. The Provocatrix of Pocket Pool. The one, the onanly, Flirty Gerty MacDowell.

On a Strand of Sandymount

Princess Nausicaa and Ithica’s king:

Bloom’s sticky, wet ding-a-ling.

Stay tuned for more open-air outercourse.

Same wanking time, same spanking channel.

In the meantime, if you’re a glutton,

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