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Robert

Roman

Empire

RED BRICK ALLEY STORIES

The Killards Are Coming

Every damn day in Religion Class, Sister Anna Banana yapped about the Soviets revving up to start a nuclear war with the new president, Ronald Reagan. She said after the cities burned to Holy Hell, there’d be something called “nuclear winter” that would kill all... 

Double-Strength Demon Dogs

Fantastic Freddie was the only altar boy from the Red Brick Alley. He was always consecrating Ritz Crackers and trying to make us eat them like communion wafers. He light-fingered incense from the sacristy, and he blessed water from Old Lady Tully’s spigot...

Laser Loop

I couldn’t see over the tall green school bus seat except when we hit a pothole and I bounced up in the air like a Pop-Tart jumping out of a toaster. Nobody at Saint Augie’s could believe I was allowed to go. My first school picnic ever. I was good from the day I handed in my pink...

The Boy Wonder

How the Hell did Jaggerbush get himself up there? He was clawing his way up into the open window above the Science class door like a real-life gargoyle. The blockhead of a wooden mallet stuck out of the back of his Toughskins where his butt crack was. He wore three...

About The Author

Rob.jpg

Robert Roman grew up in Pittsburgh, PA, where he sold newspapers to cars from a concrete island. Read more→

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My Own Private Ulysses: April is the Foolest Month

  • Writer: Robert Roman
    Robert Roman
  • 1 minute ago
  • 1 min read

April is the Foolest Month


No, April’s not the cruelest month, T.S.

And creepy winter never kept us warm.

Your Bloomsbury band bred some real B.S.

But worse, the crone Woolf froze her own art form.

The Book of Bloom was born without a bang

Or whiff of gold or frankincense or myrrh.

The anti-magi snarled with flash of fang,

The gifts they bared: scold, skank pretense, and slur.

The newborn thing lay unmourned all winter,

Never whimpered, named as a pariah,

Damned to Hell’s pit, even by the printer.

Till Sylvia Beach midwifed this new messiah.

When you gaze on wonders, be kind, not cruel

Lest they be wunderkind, then you’ll look the fool.


 
 
 
© 2016 by Robert Roman - Red Brick Alley
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