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Robert

Roman

Empire

RED BRICK ALLEY STORIES

The Killards Are Coming

Every damn day in Religion Class, Sister Anna Banana yapped about the Soviets revving up to start a nuclear war with the new president, Ronald Reagan. She said after the cities burned to Holy Hell, there’d be something called “nuclear winter” that would kill all... 

Double-Strength Demon Dogs

Fantastic Freddie was the only altar boy from the Red Brick Alley. He was always consecrating Ritz Crackers and trying to make us eat them like communion wafers. He light-fingered incense from the sacristy, and he blessed water from Old Lady Tully’s spigot...

Laser Loop

I couldn’t see over the tall green school bus seat except when we hit a pothole and I bounced up in the air like a Pop-Tart jumping out of a toaster. Nobody at Saint Augie’s could believe I was allowed to go. My first school picnic ever. I was good from the day I handed in my pink...

The Boy Wonder

How the Hell did Jaggerbush get himself up there? He was clawing his way up into the open window above the Science class door like a real-life gargoyle. The blockhead of a wooden mallet stuck out of the back of his Toughskins where his butt crack was. He wore three...

About The Author

Rob.jpg

Robert Roman grew up in Pittsburgh, PA, where he sold newspapers to cars from a concrete island. Read more→

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Robert Roman

My Own Private Ulysses: On the Menu at Sweny’s Pharmacy II


Read the sawed-off sonnet that is the prequel to today’s poem here.



On the Menu at Sweny’s Pharmacy II


Bless Sweny’s Pharmacy for these thy gifts,           

And give us this day our daily James Joyce.            

The meal’s Ulysses, but the menu shifts.              

Whatever you crave, there’s always a choice.          

As long as it’s Joyce, Chef Murphy will cook:         

German, Italian, Portuguese, Spanish.                  

Whatever your tongue, he has the right book.          

With Murphy in charge, Joyce will not vanish.         

Your mouth muscle does many a duty:                    

Tasting, talking, lapping up, making out,             

Versatilities are flings of beauty.                    

Even though flavors are sensed in your snout.         

And don’t sweat it if your tongue lacks the scope,    

Work a different muscle and buy some soap.  

          

 

Subscribe and stay tuned for more Sweny’s Sonnets.

Same tasty time, same soapy channel.

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