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Robert

Roman

Empire

RED BRICK ALLEY STORIES

The Killards Are Coming

Every damn day in Religion Class, Sister Anna Banana yapped about the Soviets revving up to start a nuclear war with the new president, Ronald Reagan. She said after the cities burned to Holy Hell, there’d be something called “nuclear winter” that would kill all...

Double-Strength Demon Dogs

Fantastic Freddie was the only altar boy from the Red Brick Alley. He was always consecrating Ritz Crackers and trying to make us eat them like communion wafers. He light-fingered incense from the sacristy, and he blessed water from Old Lady Tully’s spigot...

Laser Loop

I couldn’t see over the tall green school bus seat except when we hit a pothole and I bounced up in the air like a Pop-Tart jumping out of a toaster. Nobody at Saint Augie’s could believe I was allowed to go. My first school picnic ever. I was good from the day I handed in my pink...

The Boy Wonder

How the Hell did Jaggerbush get himself up there? He was clawing his way up into the open window above the Science class door like a real-life gargoyle. The blockhead of a wooden mallet stuck out of the back of his Toughskins where his butt crack was. He wore three...

Robert Roman grew up in Pittsburgh, PA, where he sold newspapers to cars from a concrete island. Read more→

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My Own Private Ulysses: Post Bloomsday Blues

Robert Roman
Jun 21
1 min read

Post Bloomsday Blues

And another Bloomsday’s in the books,

So, no more naughty, bad words, boo-hoo-hoo!

And no more goody prude-shoes’ dirty looks.

So, what’s a James Joyce junkie s’posed to do?

Get lit on today’s lit? What big stores sell?

Or run the marathon of Moby Dick?

Oh, no, without my Joyce fix, life’ll be Hell.

I want red-headed women’s donkey kick!

How ‘bout the Tower Academia?

No, I need nectar, the sweet streets of Joyce.

Don’t sour my hypoglycemia,

His blooming flower’s my sole drug of choice.

Now how do you suggest I stay less stressed?

Try summer school in James Joyce’s Trieste.

1 Comment

Aidan Coyne

Jun 21

Rob

The only way to get over Bloomsday withdrawal symptoms is to starting planinng for the next one. John & I have some new ideas for 2027..stay tuned. All the best, Aidan.

Robert Roman