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Robert

Roman

Empire

RED BRICK ALLEY STORIES

The Killards Are Coming

Every damn day in Religion Class, Sister Anna Banana yapped about the Soviets revving up to start a nuclear war with the new president, Ronald Reagan. She said after the cities burned to Holy Hell, there’d be something called “nuclear winter” that would kill all... 

Double-Strength Demon Dogs

Fantastic Freddie was the only altar boy from the Red Brick Alley. He was always consecrating Ritz Crackers and trying to make us eat them like communion wafers. He light-fingered incense from the sacristy, and he blessed water from Old Lady Tully’s spigot...

Laser Loop

I couldn’t see over the tall green school bus seat except when we hit a pothole and I bounced up in the air like a Pop-Tart jumping out of a toaster. Nobody at Saint Augie’s could believe I was allowed to go. My first school picnic ever. I was good from the day I handed in my pink...

The Boy Wonder

How the Hell did Jaggerbush get himself up there? He was clawing his way up into the open window above the Science class door like a real-life gargoyle. The blockhead of a wooden mallet stuck out of the back of his Toughskins where his butt crack was. He wore three...

About The Author

Rob.jpg

Robert Roman grew up in Pittsburgh, PA, where he sold newspapers to cars from a concrete island. Read more→

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My Own Private Ulysses: Trojan Horse Club

  • Writer: Robert Roman
    Robert Roman
  • Jul 30
  • 1 min read
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Trojan Horse Club


You scholars need to blinker Joyce’s stead

By binding her with Cyclopy, blind eye,

And ogling Odyssey as if it’s creed

While hiding Homer’s A-side. Do tell why.

My God! What have you done, you goddamned fool!

By Stuart Gilbert we do bore our class.

His Odyssey’s the one true holy rule!

Why jam this heresy way up our ass?

What is the title of this tour de force:

The man who won the war. Your eyes have missed

The A-side that’s inside this Trojan Horse.

On paper, episode names don’t exist.

The gift of insight’s in “Helen of Joyce.”

Scales felled might feel like Hell, but sight’s a choice.

 
 
 
© 2016 by Robert Roman - Red Brick Alley
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