My Own Private Ulysses: Ulysses in Fourteen Lines

James Joyce wrote the greatest novel ever.            

A quarter million words depict one day,               

So Bloomsday will be observed forever.           

Named for Leopold Bloom, who makes his way,           

Through old Dublin on the sixteenth of June,               

While his wife Molly conceives an affair              

And calls Bloom Poldy, like he’s a buffoon.           

We hear Bloom’s thoughts which wander everywhere,     

Past and future, many a fancy flight.                 

Our hero seeks love anywhere he can:                   

Gerty’s beach and Bella’s whorehouse at night.        

Bloom is literature’s most complete man.              

Stephen, too, is a lead in Joyce’s cast.         

But time’s short, that’s a whole other podcast.

Stay tuned for more oversimplification sonnets.

Same terse time, same condensed channel.