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Robert

Roman

Empire

RED BRICK ALLEY STORIES

The Killards Are Coming

Every damn day in Religion Class, Sister Anna Banana yapped about the Soviets revving up to start a nuclear war with the new president, Ronald Reagan. She said after the cities burned to Holy Hell, there’d be something called “nuclear winter” that would kill all... 

Double-Strength Demon Dogs

Fantastic Freddie was the only altar boy from the Red Brick Alley. He was always consecrating Ritz Crackers and trying to make us eat them like communion wafers. He light-fingered incense from the sacristy, and he blessed water from Old Lady Tully’s spigot...

Laser Loop

I couldn’t see over the tall green school bus seat except when we hit a pothole and I bounced up in the air like a Pop-Tart jumping out of a toaster. Nobody at Saint Augie’s could believe I was allowed to go. My first school picnic ever. I was good from the day I handed in my pink...

The Boy Wonder

How the Hell did Jaggerbush get himself up there? He was clawing his way up into the open window above the Science class door like a real-life gargoyle. The blockhead of a wooden mallet stuck out of the back of his Toughskins where his butt crack was. He wore three...

About The Author

Rob.jpg

Robert Roman grew up in Pittsburgh, PA, where he sold newspapers to cars from a concrete island. Read more→

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My Own Private Ulysses: Unto You To See What We Would Call Them?

  • Writer: Robert Roman
    Robert Roman
  • 8 hours ago
  • 1 min read

“Come around to Barney Kiernan’s, says Joe. I want to see The Bloomsday Journal.”



Unto You To See What We Would Call Them?

 

Here comes a group of Joyceans en masse,

Forever drinking, yet they never drown.

They’re always so crass, they lack proper class,

These beasts deserve their own collective noun.

A Menace or a Murder sounds correct,

But those are owned by crocodiles and crows.

Intrusion fairly fits their foul aspect,

But cockroach holds that name, Franz Kafka knows.

Conspiracy and Cauldron, Clutch and Crash!

And Cowardice and Cackle, Cast and Cloud!

And that’s not all the Cs, there’s a whole cache.

In kangaroo courts, are pet names allowed?

This name game broke me out in chicken pox.

Seek fame? Sneak your suggestion into my box.

 

 

Stay tuned for a skulk of sequels to this sonnet.

Same troop of times, same charm of channels.

 
 
 
© 2016 by Robert Roman - Red Brick Alley
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