When I consider all that’s been written
About James Joyce’s most curious work,
And how like yarn, it toys with this kitten,
So all other duties, I’m quick to shirk.
When I conceive of running with that herd,
Boosting its battle cry with my meow.
I know I deceive myself. How absurd
To think my mewing might deserve a wow.
When these mightier pens clash, this stray cat
Will slink down the alley, dodging the war.
I’m a conscientious erector that
Burgles, copies, and jams in metaphor.
This meow could have been a bark with ease,
I don’t even like cats, they make me sneeze.
Stay tuned for more stray sonnets.
Same kitty time, same catty channel.
Updated: Feb 7
The following was inspired by a Top Contributor’s gracious advice regarding my sonnet, “Bloomsday Forecast - Cloudy with a Chance of Gorgonzola.”
“Switch out ‘Gorgonzola’ for ‘history!’”
My headmistress gives this comic command.
I like big rebuts, hers is blistery.
If I disobey, she’ll leave my ass tanned.
“I love your irreverence and humour.”
Is her heart soft, my hard dominatrix?
Oh, I wish! But I know she’s a groomer,
Whose whip hand demands my tropes to turn tricks.
But I’m down to play Bloom to her Bella.
I’m who sketched light verse in this shithouse stall,
Seeking glory with some Cinderella,
Deep inside the ink-black hole in the wall.
Thank God this bond only lies on my phone.
True-life Devil Girl would crumble my bone.
Stay tuned for more big rebuts.
Same thick time, same juicy channel.
How I learned to stop worrying and love
The book called Ulysses by Herr Satan.
I tried to read every guide. Well, sort of.
But my crooked path would never straighten.
I joined James Joyce's prayer force: Nabokov,
Kenner, Hart, Bloom – Harold, not Leopold.
And prepared for takeoff with this Luftwaffe,
But the cock-and-pulpit felt remote-controlled.
When the mind-shaft gap widened toward doomsday,
I blitzed through the bomb bay doors in time,
to fall from grace to The Journal of Bloomsday,
Where I abandoned all reason for rhyme.
When lost and foundering in abysses,
Win by finding your own private Ulysses.
Stay tuned for more strangesonnets.
Same strangetime, same strangechannel.