“…he had proceeded towards the oriental edifice of the Turkish and Warm Baths, 11 Leinster street, with the light of inspiration shining in his countenance and bearing in his arms the secret of the race, graven in the language of prediction.”
- Ulysses, James Joyce
The Bathing Bloom
Leopold Bloom, great drawer of water,
Watercarrier and waterlover.
The sea, his Homeric alma mater,
Warm Turkish bath is where he seeks cover.
Naked nymphs bathe above Bloom’s jingly bed.
He wonders, “Time for a bath this morning?”
Buck Mulligan bathes in the cove, instead.
While Kinch stays unbathed. His excuse? Mourning.
With Martha’s naughty letter recently read,
Bloom tells himself, “Bath a most private thing.”
Her promise to punish him bobs in his head,
And pushes him to pull his ding-a-ling.
The sight of Leopold’s limp languid flower
Another reason I stick to the shower.
Subscribe and stay tuned for more water-to-water sonnets.
Same godliness time, same cleanliness channel.
BELLO: (Peremptorily.) Answer. Repugnant wretch! I insist on knowing. Tell me something to amuse me, smut or a bloody good ghoststory or a line of poetry, quick, quick, quick! Where? How? What time? With how many? I give you just three seconds. One! Two! Thr...
BLOOM: (Docile, gurgles.) I rererepugnosed in rerererepugnant...
- James Joyce, Ulysses
Today’s Ego-Excoriating Ezraku:
In the Privy of My Ulysses
The Joycean poetry in my mind’s Great Hall:
Graffiti on a sour, shithouse wall.
Subscribe and stay tuned for more misomaniacal meter.
Same pug-nosed time, same repugnant channel.
*For an explanation of the Ezraku look here.
Ah, I’m hungry.
He entered Davy Byrne’s. Moral pub. He doesn’t chat. Stands a drink now and then. But in leapyear once in four. Cashed a cheque for me once.
– Ulysses, James Joyce
A Gorgonzola Sandwich Sonnet
Go and “Get a light snack in Davy Byrne’s.”
Nice quiet bar. Nicely planed. A moral pub,
An abode of bliss to forget concerns.
So be like Bloom, order his relished grub.
“Cheese sandwich, then. Gorgonzola, have you?”
And Burgundy, a good glass, to lubricate.
Don’t wolf chomp. Linger like Bloom when you chew,
Smooths things out when it’s time to defecate.
“Like a few olives too if they had them.”
But unlike Bloom’s, today’s globes are of the grape.
No oysters, please. Unsightly clots of phlegm.
But feety cheese from this plate you will scrape.
Thank Joyce for the sandwich Gorgonzola!
Bloom could have liked gluten-free granola.
Subscribe and stay tuned for more salivary sonnets.
Same sumptuous time, same scrumptious channel.